It’s about 650 km from Wörgl to Koblenz. A long, medications pleasant train trip through some of Germany’s most picturesque landscapes with one or two train changes. With a first class ticket in hand, pharm I was expecting a pleasant journey and despite two train changes, I was certain I would be able to get a fair bit of work done. As I arrived at the station of my departure, it was announced that my train was expected in the station about an hour and a half late.
A quick check on the electronic time table indicated that another train headed towards Munich was just rolling into the station, two hours later than its scheduled time. This was “the” Italian train, a notoriously seedy beast that is dependably filthy and overfilled. A third train to Munich, despite being German also late, was expected in 20 minutes, but that would no longer get me to Munich in time for my connecting train to Stuttgart. I opted for the Italian train.
Unfortunately the Italian was train was exactly as expected. The aroma of stale cigarette smoke, from past decades when incinerating was still allowed on trains, steamed out of the balding plush seats. It was hot, crowded, and I was lucky to have one of the last seats available. I tried not to touch anything with my skin.
The Italian train gave up in Rosenheim and all passengers were requested to exit the train and board the German one overtaking us. The German train was also quite full and hot, but thankfully it was only a short ride to Munich. I was even in time for my connecting train to Stuttgart, which had remained waiting for us. “This will certainly be a more comfortable train”, I thought, “I’ll be able to finish the final polish my article.”
The Deutsch Bahn is evidently thinking of creative ways to attract customers and now offers free saunas in first class cabins on selected trains. To prevent the sauna steam from escaping the train, all the windows have been hermitically sealed and cannot be opened without a sledgehammer. An irate passenger filed an official complaint about the 45°C saying he was sure it would be illegal to transport animals in these conditions. Unlike an animal that would flee such conditions in lieu of cooler more pleasant environs, we stupid humans remained.
The train conductor made an announcement and apologized that there was no bistro or restaurant on board, but in the first wagon of first class there was a cabin where you could purchase beverages and snacks. This cabin was just three down from mine in the same wagon. There I found the train stewards with several ice chests hording cold, consumable items. I purchase a bottle of water, a bottle of beer and a sandwich.
I drank the water while waiting for the solid frozen beer to melt. And I nibbled on the bizarre half frozen cheese salad sandwich, which was a mixture of a mild relatively flavourless cheese with mayonnaise and chopped mandarin on processed wheat bread. Through constant, but gentle agitation of the beer bottle I was able to create a slushy consistency, a Beck’s beer slurpy if you will. This was to be my most delicious treat of the day and it kept me occupied until Stuttgart.
The train was late to Stuttgart and my connecting train to Koblenz did not wait. I had enough time to buy a bottle of cold mineral water and the next sauna on wheels was in only 20 minutes. I arrived in late in Coblenz in a hot, sticky and wilted state. The rooms at culinary school hotel where I would be lecturing the coming week are modest. Just a step above a dorm room, there is no air conditioning, no mini-bar, no safe, but each room does have a private shower, WC and a 12 inch screen TV. It was on this TV that I would watch the last minutes of the final game of the FIFA World Cup Spain vs. Netherlands. My room was the last available and it was in the top floor under the roof with two mini windows and a skylight. The room was hot and sticky, but I was given the last fan in the house. I turned on the fan t the sound of vuvzelas. Unfortunately the fan had a short and threw out the electrical circuit on the entire floor. I was able to eventually get some electricity, but unfortunately not a fan. I missed the end of the football game, but I did get to listen to an hour of adrenalin-crazed Germans racing about the city honking their car horns in the post game frenzy before falling asleep.